I’m sitting in my bed, laptop in lap, trying to figure out the words to describe how I feel at the moment.
Quite frankly, I had a shit day. I thought too much, I did too little. My brain feels exhausted and low on energy.
It’s one of those days for me. The days where you just sit and wonder whether you’re doing the right thing, chasing the right dreams, and having the right ideas.
Today is one of the days when I wonder if I will fail. The days that I worry endlessly about what the future holds. The days of soul-crushing self doubt.
I don’t usually feel like this. I’m energetic and optimistic by nature. But every once in a while, my brain ceases to function and moves from the present to the future.
However, even when self doubt comes creeping in, something remains: I always stay confident about my ability to deal with whatever shit life throws at me. I don’t know if I will fail or succeed, but whatever happens, I’ll be fine. I’ll keep walking.
“I usually figure shit out” is a common phrase for me. So yes, I’ve had one of “those days” today. But I know it’s going to be alright.
This is pretty nonsensical, I know. But it makes sense to me, and I guess that’s the point of a journal, no?